Fringe.

Alot of my friends weren't in school today. Jess was at first, but she headed off around break time. Today was brilliant and terrifyingly horrible all at the same time. Me and Bethan had a horribly painful heart to heart at one point, but then had a more positive one later on.

"You have to live for weed! Live for weed!"
.."I'll pay." I whispered to her gently.
"It's expensive but that sounds good. Weed, and you, that's all I need. We'll become stoners and end up going crazy though."
"We'll probably throw ourselves off a bridge somewhere, together" I thought aloud.
"Like holding hands? It'd be so romantic. Sad, but we'd be together, so it'd be okay!" She smiled, weaving her fingers through mine, letting her head rest on my shoulder.

This was mine and Bethan's good conversation today. We've made a deal. We'll just keep smoking green together and forgetting all the shit, and even if we do go crazy, or we die, the green will take all the crap away so the consequences don't bother us. Today ended well, Bethan's at mine tomorrow night, not caring if her mum says no or not, she' says she's coming anyway, to Azza's for the green, then back to mine. To watch School Of Comedy and IT Crowd, and have sex, we'll make eachother feel better.

She kissed me today, properly, for about 5 minutes straight. She held on tight. It was nice, it's been so long since i've had a chance to really kiss her and cuddle her.

She seems pretty set about living for weed and fun times, so so long as she's alive, i'll follow her tiny little lead.

~

When I am sad, or upset, or I can't cope, I change my appearance in the hope to change my life, or how things are, or to escape the horror. I cut myself a fringe today, I like it. But I won't lie, i'm still scared.