Struggling...

It's really just been one of those days.

I can't go into it too much because I'm not sure who reads this anymore.

But put it this way, after a succinct lack in empathy, I'm at my breaking point. I have had ENOUGH!

I've reached this point once before and I let it carry on as it was and found myself on a path to destruction.
I can't let myself get there again.

The constant tears, the frustration.

I'm not asking to be let off if I've done something wrong or to be spoken to any differently. I'm asking that when I need a minute to compose myself, when my mind wanders and I appear to not be focusing, don't snap. Take a minute and walk in my shoes. I am trying my best. But I'm struggling to cope.

I challenge ANYONE to go through what my family have gone through in the last 18 months.

Me? Those who have read my blip on a regular basis know that I recently struggled with depression. Despite feeling better after medicinal intervention, I can see the same patterns emerging.
I'm not sleeping, hardly eating and living off of energy drinks to keep me alert. Not the healthiest lifestyle.
But it's how I'm surviving.

Without adding my brother into the mix, I have recently moved house (which is stressful in itself), battled ongoing depression and issues with food and am working at a job which I don't entirely get enjoyment out of that's very unforgiving - you're only as good as your last days figures. You cannot let personal matters become an issue.

This is what I struggled with today. I feel like I can't breathe under all the pressure. Like someone is sitting on my chest. I broke down twice at work today. I genuinely don't feel like I can do anything right in the eyes of anyone and I'm starting to feel myself being swallowed up.

I'm not sure how much longer I can feel this anymore.

A xx