Caution!

I am slipping this blip in, between a fabulous weekend and a lovely day. This is Monday's blip, officially. A back blip of a really hard, yet really rewarding day. After serious admission of a feeling of helplessness regarding time, regarding attitude, regarding a chip on my shoulder toward my beloved~and I didn't even remember why~ Sunday night when I finally got to bed...late again...I waited for him to scold me, but, as usual he never did. He held me, he told me he loved me, he was overflowing with acceptance for me.

All day Monday, my heart was so tender. I cried at the drop of a hat. Every little thing drew tears from the deep well of my emotions. I felt so deeply loved and so ready to surrender my heart and attitude to God as I seek to balance life, one more time.

I had been waiting and waiting and waiting for him to get mad, to tell me I needed to get my act together, to tell me he'd had enough of my poor time management. But he never did, and he never did, and he never did. I developed an attitude, like I thought he really didn't care that I was so incapable of moving more quickly through the tasks that I do. Yet he did care, but only about me. He did care about how exhausted he feels all the time~because he's always waiting for me to come to bed and he tries to stay awake until I get there. But he didn't care to be unkind to me. He earned, he earns, and he continues to earn my respect more and more and more every day.

Let's not make a big deal about this blip, OK? Let's not notice that there's a blip in between Sunday and Tuesday. This one is just my little mention of the giant he is in my eyes. The caution I will exercise from now on as I see how late it's getting and I resist the temptation to comment on just 20 more blips. Just 20. I will respect him~and I will respect myself~instead of just staying for 20 more comments and as many more e-mails. I'll get to bed and stay strong and be able to function. Less exhaustion. That sounds good to me.