Swans in the sea? Well I never.

A day in Queensferry today. My mother has always used words inappropriately, its part of her charm. When she sung along to the radio she would make up the lyrics, when she speak she will say she is having trouble with getting the thingy to do that stuff whilst waving her finger in some vague direction, and can you help?

Her shopping lists are a magical mystery tour. As a seasoned supermarket shopper I used to think that I could make the most of them out, so s/corn - sweetcorn, long pork - pork loin[/b], but then you had the delights of c/tights - chicken thighs - almost impossible not to need a tena lady there!.

Today was the best in a long time. When she produced the list, which I get to carry round the shop I was more than surprised to find that she expected toasted semen to be on the shelves! Thankfully we didn't find it.

It's little moments like these that make my time here easy passing.