Cinderella!

'Oh My, Oh My, yes Sir, please Mr Judd come in do. What's that you say, a ruby slipper, left at the After Strictly Party? Yes, Yes, I was there - not really sweeping exactly Harry, if I may. No simply collecting and saving the little trifles of the occasion so that others may admire them. All for charity you understand'.

' I don't think we need try the slipper, I know it will fit, I have the other one right here - See! Yes I ran out in such a hurry, my sister you see - that's right the ugly one - she was in a hurry to leave. I believe the McDonald's drive-thru was about to close and we had such a long journey home that some sustenance was necessary. Of course I myself delicately nibbles at a salad, whilst SHE had the whole double Mac fries and large it. I, of course, am a lady.'

'Really, must I? Well if you insist, you see it's just that I've been on my feet all day busy with social events and my poor tootsies are a little swollen, but as you can see they fit, yes perfectly. Fit like a glove.'

'No, you must be mistaken, please perhaps we could try in the morning. I have waited a whole series for an opportunity to dance under the glitter ball.
Else, who else? No-one else lives here, well except my sister and daughter servant. She cleans and cooks. No she wasn't there, I can assure you. What's that knocking, no dear we don't need any tea and biscuits stay outside please..... I said STAY OUTSIDE!'

And as she entered, my beautiful daughter, I knew that the slipper would fit perfectly, like a glove, and that raised those full 6 inches she would float off with my Prince Charming. Thank goodness I woke up to find it all a dream.

The blip Christmas Pantomime, brought to you by a gorgeous ruby red slipper and an old hags socks and fat ankles!