Lights on a grey day.

I thought I'd uploaded this last night but when I came to it this morning it was still waiting to be published and when I tried it said there had been an error and to please try again.

Can't remember what I'd written to go with it apart from not hearing from the girl at the home all day and so I rang her and got angry with her which made me feel awful as I don't do anger very well and I always feel like I've lost some dignity or made someone else feel bad and I go around afterwards feeling rotten.

I discovered that the bra mum was wearing wasn't hers. So she was sent home wearing someone else's old socks and someone else's bra and I had gone and bought her beautiful brand new bras to take in with her.

I got told that the reason the home hadn't phoned me yesterday was because they had only had half the things back from the laundry and she didn't want to tell me until everything was back. She said there will be more things coming up tomorrow (which is today now) and that she would ring me tomorrow to let me know.

I had told her that I had waited all day to hear something and not hearing anything at all made me more concerned. I said that this was supposed to have been a respite break to help reduce my stress and in two days they had undone a lot of the good the respite had done.

I asked if they did this kind of thing with every other person who stays with them and she said they didn't and kept apologising.

I said that surely it wouldn't have taken much to ensure that all mum's clothes were ready for her going home date, that even if she hadn't known the time she did know the day and to send her home with hardly anything and wearing other people's underwear was totally unacceptable.
Again she apologised but it wasn't helping.

On top of everything else the transport drivers turned up yesterday to take mum to day care. I was dumfounded. I had told them that it might not be until the start of next year when mum goes back to day care. They said 'but she's on our list to be collected today', like I wouldn't know and if she's on their list they have to take her !

The stupid thing is that the transport dept won't take instructions from the people themselves, carers etc they will only deal with social services.
So they had a wasted journey.

I'm seriously wondering whether respite and day care are worth the hassle.
On a very brief visit to a food shop I took the blip above and it appeared unexpectedly out of the gloom and cheered me up a bit.