Weebles Wobble

Day off today and the schools are all shutting early due to the extreme weather. The insurance company has sent around someone else to take another statement regarding the accident. The poor bloke has travelled all the way from Yorkshire, an Ex Detective inspector, his business card shows Private Investigator. How exciting would it to be a private eye, taking pictures of cheating spouses and planting listening devices behind photo frames. We discuss the accident and he leaves for the long journey home after I sign nine million pieces of paper.

Connie is working today, so the kids and I head out, weaving our way around tree branches and obstructions in the road, to Pizza Hut for as much as you can eat buffet pizza.

After stuffing myself beyond the realms of normal greed, we head off to HobbyCraft for a nose around.

Ruby, is wearing her little eye patch and her glasses and as we get into the shop I am momentarily distracted by a build your own jet engine model that was on this weeks special. Ruby has wandered about four feet in front of me and has touched the mini make your own cup cake maker display. All six boxes of cupcake maker, yours for just an amazing special offer of £19.99 spiller spectacularly all over the shop floor.

The nearest shop assistant hasn't actually notice, so I go over, replaced the boxes exactly as it should be and pick up the on display mini cup cake maker. I instantly realise that it has shattered into more bits than your average Ravensburger.

Nightmare, I pick up the display and shout over the assistant and apologise. She says that I might have to pay for the broker item. I agree that I'm happy to do so if required and she states that she has to go and speak to the manager. She dissapears through the back. At this point, If I was so inclined, I could easily have skipped out and been in the car quicker than the fat lass could have eaten her mid morning Jaffa Cake.

She came back and advises that I dont have to pay for it. I apologise again, tell her I would have been happy to do so, except in fairness the bairn has an eyesight problem and the display was clearly precariously balanced at a jaunty angle.

She says and I quote "yes, well, its not like you were even supervising your child at the time, now was it". I am literally ready to explode, but the prospect of having to pay the £19.99 for the amazing special offer of a broken cup cake maker and potentially any damage inside the other five boxes, doesn't appeal to me and I bite my tongue, but I am litterally growling to myself the entire way around the store.

So if anybodies at HobbyCraft in the near future and see the wonderfull offer of the pink mini cup cake maker, located just inside the front door of the Fort Retail Park, you might not want to buy one as the others inside the boxes are almost guaranteed to be broken given how easily the display one disintegrated.

We travel home and intend to stop at the harbour at 3.00pm precisely to see if can take some spectacular photographs of waves crashing over harbour walls and sweeping away passers by. When we get there the tide is out, bummer. I notice however, that the wind is sweeping vast amounts of sand along the beacha and up agaisn't the harbour wall, so I get out the car to take a snap of it and wait for the next gust, except every time that it happens, I cant keep the camera still enought to take a photo as Im having a little difficulty in standing upright. I was like weebles wobble but they dont fall down.

On arriving home, I discover that my wheelie bin is threatening to keel over, there is a piece of trim fallen off my garage and would have landed on top of my Lexus had I not been driving it and that the bairns scooter had miracuously not moved an inch despite being made of light weight plastic.

The lights are flickering like crazy in the house, but we haven't lost power yet captain, the quantum crystals are about to blow and the flux capacitor has reached its maximum perecentage of fair use policy.

Completely changing the subject for a moment, but does anybody know how to go about getting a book published, should I be so inclined to write one ?