peace

Day off today and usually I ruby sit, or she daddy sits as mentioned previously.

However, today is a little different. The insurance money has cleared in the building society and needs to be withdrawn and put into my regular bank so that I can spend it on my debit card for the new car.

I phone about the car and ask if its possible to pick it up today instead of Saturday as the money has cleared sooner that anticipated, the guy says that it might be an he will get back to me. Fingers crossed.

We travel into Dalkeith for the local branch of the nationwide and Connie withdraws the balance of the cheque. Its then my job to walk the 500 yards along the street, Im wearing my green barbour jacket, not like the wax type, more like the quilted shooting or horse riding style, all very countral casual, except there isnt really any pockets suitable for four grand to go in.

So, im having a bit of a swagger along the street, hand in one pocket, collar turned up, with four large in an envelope in my right hand feeling all a bit lock stock in the middle of dalkieth high street.

It was a good feeling, except I get into the bank and its like the bank teller doesnt think its my money or something as she is looking at me funny. I think I might be looking more shifty the more she looks at me.

I bang the envelope down and tell her that i want to pay in some cash and hand her my fat wad.

She asks me how much is there and whether or not I want to envelope and elastic bands back.

I tell her I dunno whats in the envelope (of course I do, but she doesnt have to know that) and that she can keep the elastic bands and I have a quick day dream that its the product of some heist or payoff or other while she counts it.

Connie and I are going for one of those Groupon massage deals today, groupon advertise some grossly over priced item and you get it for what would be a normal and reasonable figure. We head off into stockbridge and it turns out to be in someones house, which is fine as it has the door number 48, my lucky number.

Connie goes first and I nip over the waitrose and use the loo. So im standing there having a pee and the guy in the cubicle is making a right racket. He comes out holding his stomach, but either he carries an air freshner whereever he goes or he has been eating too much cinammon. You can come and use my loo any time you want mate, do you do any other glade odours or is cinammon your best one ?

Anyways, I buy a sandwich and go and visit Tofech, my morrocan shave guy for a hot shave which is a favourite thing to do once a month or so.

When Im done there I head back as its my turn for the massage but alarm bells were ringing for me right away, the electric cable trunking on the ceiling was falling down and Ive got doubts on the overall cleanliness of the place. Not the worlds best massage but better than no massage at all would be my analysis.

Connie also points out that the girl had a certain unpleasant body odour, clearly not been eating enough cinammon then luv, but I didnt notice this as I was too busy thinking about bank heists.

On the way to the garage (car wil be ready about 5.30pm) we stop in at Slaters menswear as they have a deal advertised of shoes, shirt, tie and suit for £75. Except all the suits offered in this deal are well.........shiny.

We have a quick hot chocolate in starbucks, but the girl sitting at the next table, a posh bint is giving it, yes, we are so lucky we both have wealthy parents and they keep us in the flat and I can just take time out.... and he is so romantic, he picked up my dirty laundry and put up fairy lights and blah blah blahddy blah.

Connie states half way through her hot chocolate, "lets get oot oh hear, she is gee-ing me the boak" so we leave, clearly she doesnt share the fundamental concept of posh totty and I try to illustrate this with generating a mental image of Keira Knightly.

Connie drops me off at the mcdonalds on gorgie road as she needs to get home and I have some time to kill before picking up the car. However, while waiting two young lads come in. They have matching helmets, which I think is a bit camp, however when I get outside they also have matching mopeds which also match the blue and white helmets. Is indivuality dead all of a sudden, does the youth of today no longer customise and try to be unique. .did you get a two for the price of one deal....

I pick up the car and enjoy a pleasant drive home surrounded by luxury lexus leather.

My day ends by eating a large and copious amount of humble pie towards my mother in law as I decide that an apology is in order after the swathes of the removed material previously published and subsequently removed.

All in all a busy day.