Oblivious No More

I see them now! For 15 years I drove past them almost daily, never even noticing this colorful display of trees. Then blip came along and, last May, I saw them for the first time. It is so interesting to me how colorful this little collection of trees is in both May and November. The colors switch around a bit, but it's pretty amazing!

Yesterday, I mentioned some pretty serious and difficult things that I have been trying to get my heart and head around. With some encouragement, I had some down time yesterday and read through some old journals, which gave me some perspective. Annie's Journal 6/3/2004 "Some of us are created with an inner drive to believe profoundly in the people around us. It is a faith, not in what we 'see' in them, but what we believe about them. It is a faith in what we can not see. It is a hope beyond hope that there will ultimately be a purpose for the skills and tools we have gained along the way. The amazing drive to encourage in the face of hopelessness. To believe the unpopular beliefs and refuse to accept that the door is closed when you are standing with your nose against it."

I mentioned my 'God Can' book yesterday...well, in fact, I blipped it. Tonight, the teacher who gave the lesson at our Kids Club referenced Psalm 139;17 & 18, saying "How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You". As she spoke, I was able to let go, just a little more, of my concern for all the people whose lives have been impacting mine of late, as I realized that God's thoughts toward them are as numerous as His thoughts toward me. What He sees is beyond what I see and what He knows is beyond what I know. I've seen, and continue to see, perhaps more than the average amount of tragedy, up close and personal. But whether one or one hundred and one people tell us their feelings at the moment they find out they are terminally ill or while they fight for their lives for months or years and a disease is winning against their will, it will still be true...there is hope and they/we are not alone.

Thank you, to those who have offered encouragement. My stomach is a little better today and I was able to keep my focus and work through the emotions while being productive today. I'm going to keep taking it a day at a time and remembering that, while I can choose to walk away from those who suffer, they do not have that luxury and must remain in the suffering. My choice to remain and be still is the simplest, most cost effect thing I can give to a fellow traveler while I'm here on earth. It is also my goal to keep before me, the understanding that the grace offered those who face their own mortality is sufficient. I can not give them more than what is already available to them if they will receive it.

Sorry, heavy I know. I look forward to more light hearted days too :-) Thanks for walking along with me.