Hang on

You don't live here. This isn't your house. Do one.

The cat is thinking two things.

"Isn't there a window cleaner round here? Those handmarks are from July 2007 when the PS2 got nicked."

and

"Where the fuck are his curtains?"

In answer to his questions there is a window cleaner, but I don't fancy having clean windows to be honest. If I had net curtains maybe.

My curtains are on the floor after my badly fitted curtain rail came away from the wall one last time. I've tried drilling it in, then using a filler and finally resorted to blu tack. Tonight I have a duvet trapped in my windows acting as curtains.

My house looks like a drug squat or something.