You Spin Me Right Round Baby....

Boy announced to Facebook last night, "Come on Irene, I'm going to punch you right in the face, and send you back to the Atlantic".

Hmm.

Boy was never a "little" boy. This was, I believe, as a result of being in my womb for 11 months. At age 2, he was wearing Age 5 clothes. When he started nursery, I stressed the importance of being gentle, he was much bigger than even the oldest boys. One of his closest friends was the smallest boy you could imagine the two of them together were the oddest sight.

My stressing of gentleness resulted in a safe nursery time, but sadly did not bode well for School. Frequently he came home with finger point bruises all over his chest. Bruises on his arms, and rips in his clothes.

The main cause of the problem, was multiplied by the fact that his mother worked in the school, and anticipated my complaints with "childhood boisterousness".

I stood open mouthed in the playground one day beside her as we watched her son run up to mine, completely unannounced, grabbed him by his jacket hood and spun him until the hood came off, and Boy went flying. I turned to her angrily, and she smiled and said "boys!".

Stupid bitch.

I took Boy home that evening and taught him to punch. I let him punch me hard, all weekend, until I was convinced he had a punch strong enough to defend himself in one blow. My belly was black and blue.

He headed back to school on Monday with the instruction. "Anyone comes near you to annoy you, you hit once, and walk away".

All was quiet for a few weeks.

One evening, Boy came running in to the house at great speed. "Mum, Mum, Mum."

"What's wrong?", I yelled running towards him.

"When someone annoys me, I hit once, and walk away?"

"Yes".

"When they are trying to annoy me? "

"Yes, are you alright?"

"Yes, I am, but Rachel's nose is bleeding".


Ooops!