Grumpy

Sorry.

I am in a proper grump with the diabetes today and all you're getting as a picture is this grumpy nail and part of the building site detail that is our house. It pretty much sums up how I feel today. Far cry from yesterday.



If you really want a run-down and a rant about the day, I have splurged. If not, I don't blame you...






It's been busy today, and no time to stop and take pictures. Lovely morning with a friend though, Ben took to her instantly! I think he thought she was here to babysit: he spent quite a while trying to get rid of me, and would only let her do things for him!

Then the gas man cometh, to discover that the administrative department still have us on their system as having a gas meter. Which we haven't had for two years, and which the same gas man has seen several times over the past two years and goes back with the same information: change this on the system please. And the electric meter wasn't showing any numbers at all which was odd.

Rushed off to drop Ben off at Hayley's house, rushed to the diabetes centre for my insulin management course, had to eat my lunch there, managed to drip salad cream from the coleslaw I'd put on my sandwiches all over my tshirt and jeans, gave the nurses my blood sugar readings for the awful weekend (blood-sugar-wise) I'd had, and now have to change my WHOLE attitude to eating as a result.

Even one twix bar per day is considered a LOT of chocolate. One twix bar. Just one. A "lot".

No more carby snacking. (I discovered cheese stops me getting incredibly grumpy when I'm hungry and it's not quite mealtime. It's just not the same as a carby snack though.) Eat meals a bit quicker. (I.e. don't take 2 hours over a meal.) Plan what you're going to eat, and eat it. Stop sharing with Ben, so that you know you're taking in the full complement of carbs that you've dosed for.

It's still a very interesting course but my goodness today the diabetes has depressed me.

I am a habitual grazer. I can't deal with big meals. I like little and often, which my stomach likes too, which earlier on in the pregnancy was all I could cope with. But diabetes and insulin and pregnancy do not go well with constant grazing. I do not know what I am going to do to change my attitude to eating. I LOVE my carbs. My whole life is built on carbs!! I can't think in terms of protein. To make it more difficult, it's like being told not to think of a pink elephant. All I do when it comes to food is count the carbohydrate in what I'm eating. That's all I'm interested in. So to try and think of non-carbohydrate snacks is like trying not to think of a pink elephant. It's just useless.

So, no more carby snacks, and I've also got to make my weekend routines as similar to my weekday routines as possible so that I'm eating at normal times, not leaving things too late, not snacking as a result, etc etc.

Dad was here when I got home with Ben though. And Steve. And Steve had already started hoovering the bedrooms which I'm very grateful for. Dad peeled potatoes and looked after Ben, Steve installed the new "super hub" thingy that arrived this morning, I collapsed on the sofa with a big lump of cheese. Cheese. *sigh* But good humour has (generally) been restored now I've eaten and Ben's in bed, apart from the general grump in the direction of the diabetes.

But I need a bath before tomorrow (off to London tomorrow for a fetal heart scan, hence why my Dad is here, to look after Ben while we're out all day) and I really don't have the energy or inclination. The grump is being a bit of a grump.



Big grumpy nail.