A Venison Venture

I was back to "work" today...transporting the doctor who has broken his leg, and is in a full leg cast. A few miles away from his house is a large mall, and one of its anchor stores is called Bass Pro Shops. It is a Garden of Eden for hunters and fishermen, and outdoor people in general.

I am neither a hunter or a fisherman. My motto is..."If it doesn't have a ball...it's not a sport." (Hockey being the exception.) But, I do like to stop in and take pictures of all the "dead" animals. I use some of the shots to copy onto either wood or a gourd...and then woodburn the image on to the surface. Sometimes I then paint it, sometimes not.

This whole section of the store underneath the antlers is dedicated to spices, dry rubs, and sauces...that are supposed to enhance the flavor of the deer meat. I hate to be a baby, but as far as I'm concerned...there is nothing they can do to prepare it for the mouth. The deer is beautiful to see...challenging to photograph...great for a hat rack...but to eat? No, thank you.

My neighbor Barry is typical of the average hunter. They all use a variation of this saying..."It's all in how you prepare it. I use a special marinade. It takes away the toughness."

3 years ago he met me at the fence. "Tim...I just fixed up some venison steaks. Would you like a few? It's not my greatest. It's from the flank." I didn't even know what the flank was...but I didn't want to show my ignorance, and I didn't want to appear unmanly by refusing his offer. I gave him my best looooow voice. "Sure, Barry, I'd love to try it."

I took about three bites. I get after my wife for saying certain fish are too fishy...but...this game meat was too "gamy." Too strong. I took the rest over to my dads...thinking he was more manly than me. He took one bite. He used a strong word for him. "It tastes like crap." I took the rest home. My son Jeff came over. I yelled from downstairs..."Hey son...try the venison on the table." He took one bite and said..."It tastes like butt." I don't even know what that meant...but I understood.

I wanted to stand underneath the antlers and say to anybody who came through..."You're wasting your time and your money. None of this stuff works."
But, I couldn't. I had a job to get to. The doc was waiting for his driver. Probably more dead animals will be blipped in the coming weeks.