The Midlands isn't in the north...

It's in the middle.

That's why it's called the Midlands.

North enough to get battered Marsbars, and to know how to talk proper.

South enough to get sunshine.

The North doesn't start at Watford. The South doesn't start at Stoke-on-Trent.

I'm not Northern. I'm not Southern.

I'm just right.