Mama's Boy

Introducing Master Four Year Old.

What can I say about this little 'BIG' boy? He's a fantastic child, and I couldn't ask for a better child if I wanted one. Sure, there are tough days. But that's all part and parcel of motherhood.

Motherhood came by surprise for me. I'd not long turned 19 when I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. I didn't think I was ready for motherhood. I didn't want to be a teenage mother. I didn't think I would be a good mother, and that the baby I was carrying would be better off with someone else as a mother. But I gave it my all. I had an incredibly rough pregnancy, and spent over a third of the pregnancy in hospital, losing the amount of weight most women gain during their pregnancy... But that drove me to try harder. Especially once I started feeling movement. It was real. My baby was real. MY baby. I told myself that if I could get through the pregnancy, surely that was a sign. By the time he arrived (four days early, weighing a perfect 7lb 8oz) I was definitely over being pregnant, vomiting around the clock, being beaten up from the inside, and having my bladder squashed. 18 hours into my labour, a rough labour, things started going wrong. Scarily wrong. But at 6:18pm on March 8th, 2007, after 18 and a half hours in labour, everything was worth it when I held my little boy. I was instantly smitten. And for all the things that went wrong during my labour, he was perfectly fine... He just wanted to make an entrance. I'm sure of it.

And here we are four and a bit years later. I am glad I had him young. Sure, my selection for a father wasn't great... But I have the most amazing son. He's very sweet and thoughtful. Very intuitive. Every bit the mama's boy. And what I particularly love is that he is not only taking an interest in, but is very good with artsy stuff. He does the most amazing drawings, takes very good photos, and makes up little tunes on HIS guitar (or hums melodies/harmonies when I'm songwriting).
I have so many hopes and dreams for him. And fears. And I wonder what sort of man he'll grow into.

"It's not time to make a change, just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault.
There's so much you have to know.
Find a girl, settle down, if you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.
I was once like you are now and I know that it's not easy
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow but you dreams may not."
~ Father And Son - Cat Stevens