Lost

His Lordship has lost his current specs.

Not this pair obviously, which is but one pair out of a conservative estimate of about 15 pairs that he has hoarded over the years.
Why he collected them is a mystery, reluctant as he is to wearing any of them. Until very recently he was happy to squint at printed material 10 cm away from his nose or else have me read any relevant information to him.

But, his Lordship collects spectacles like I collect notebooks or other people collect handbags. He has now got a motley collection of old specs which lie in a drawer and never see the light of day.

No, he has lost his current pair: bifocals which he was reluctantly persuaded to wear, as he says, for seeing and particularly for driving.

Usually he is quite happy not to see too much, so that he can truthfully say he hasn't noticed any dirt, dust or crumbs in the Dower House, but seeing for driving was becoming a necessity.

However he is rather quick to remove them indoors where we don't have road signs and things can be a comfortable blur.

The newly lost pair were donned to tie up a climbing plant on the patio and then removed at some point indoors. But can he find them? No.

He has looked in the fridge, in the washing machine, in the cupboards, under the bed, in the drawers, in every jacket or trouser pocket, and even in the rubbish bin, but not a trace of them is there to be found.
He has had people pray to St Anthony, the patron saint of lost things, but to no avail.

It is a mystery, but an expensive one as he has now had to go out and buy another pair.

Personally I think he must have absentmindedly put them in with the rubbish and they are now in some landfill site surveying the detritus through rose tinted lenses.