Old Boots

I've been monitoring these bad boys for a few weeks now. They've been just abandoned by the gate to our compound by someone and I've often thought 'they'll make a great last minute / lame blip one day'. Now that day has arrived. Hallelujah.

So whats new with me? Not much really. It's hard to be witty and cutting edge when all you've really done is slept, eaten, worked and had a bit of a moan. Still the boots, they're interesting aren't they? No. Ah. Then today we may have a problem.

Okay hows this? I was in the bath last night thinking about the Second Coming (not the Stone Roses ,underated second album either, I mean like Jesus reborn or whatever) and I came to the conclusion that maybe we've already had it. Maybe the second coming is in fact all around us. I think that the second son of God, the rebirth of his kin is actually none other than Tescos.

Seriously. There are several key points that make me think this:

* They work miracles. A pack of 'Nytols' cost £3.12 for 30 tablets, but the same product in Tesco own branding you get 60 for £3.53. That's a miracle is it not? Talk about feeding the five thousand.

* The same goes for beans and most of their meat products.

* I'm pretty sure their wine is made out of water. They also make one cow into a hell of a lot of steaks by using water. I suspect heavy usage of water in products is a sign of the second coming

* Everyone crucifies them. Well I do.

* They were born in a stable in Bethlehem. Probably.

* Tesco help the poor by buying their produce and then redistributing it amongst the people. Jesus maybe did this.

I think thats it. I put together a compelling argument though. That said Jesus never made me park an hours walk from his house, never made me drag my sorry carcass round increasingly small aisles filled with unwashed people before making me stand in line to process my own fucking shopping.

So maybe its not the second coming after all. Maybe its just a massive corporation strangling the independent hard working stores of their livelihoods whilst simultaneously suffocating the people who grow their produce by slashing the prices they pay. Maybe a 'business' with a turnover larger than most countries in the world slowly buying up every possible piece of land they can to sell you your CD's, Petrol, Clothes and even medication is actually a bad thing. Maybe its the start of us entering a state where we are fed drivel that people don't want, a world where individuality suffers at the hands of capitalism.

Oh feck it I don't know. Just look at the boots. Bet they didn't come from Tesco. Or Jesus.