Express Yourself, It's One on One

It had been a tough year.

The boys got beat match, after match; an ever increasing number of goals against.

They had only been playing 3 minutes, and the 4th goal for the opposition went in. The Goalie fell to his knees and cried. Boy stepped up from his right back position and said "give me your gloves".

Boy became the Goalie, and the scores stopped being 24-0, and crept up to 2-2.

Boy got promoted to the First Team. Boy was bored useless in Goal.

One Saturday we turned up for a big match. As I stood with Boy, the other boys gathered round, and I wheeked off Boy's jacket and displayed his left arm, bandaged from wrist to shoulder and hanging limply in a sling. Dislocated shoulder we announced.

The boys all panicked.

Boy was the Last Line of Defence.

He was The Goalie.

He was the one other team's feared, not the Attack.

I explained. It's simple, you all defend hard to the left. The balls will come at Boy from the Right, and his right side is okay. He can save with his body, and land on his right arm.

They were cool, they discussed the formation they would take to protect their Goalie.

I walked away, and then I heard it.

"WHAT THE *&^>?

Oi, You Mrs, What the Flipping heck, if he is injured, You tell me, he is MINE, how the hell are we going to win today with him in a sling?

I turned and smiled sweetly, "is okay, is just his left arm - the boys are going to defend to his left, it'll be all good, I absolve you of the risk of any other injury, I'll let him play", and walked over to the other parents.

The Coach Turned Red Faced Manager, started to curse and swear and kick soil, balls, markers, anything within reach. As he reached boiling point, i turned back.

"Oi Billy", says I.

He looked at me ready to lunge.




"Happy April Fools Day".

I will not repeat what he called me after that! One Nil, Football Mum!