Smile

Moaning Minnie

'You could moan for England,'
is what Mum said to me.
When asked for his opinion
Dad said, 'I agree.'

He entered me in a regional heat
and I easily got through
but by the time I reached the final
I said, 'Uh! Do I have to?'

They pushed me onto the platform
and gave me a microphone
so I took a breath as deep as the sea
and then began to moan.

I moaned about the weather.
I moaned about TV.
I moaned about my brother.
I moaned about being me.

I moaned about the whole wide world.
I moaned about our sofa.
I planned to moan for hours
but they said, 'STOP! It's over.'

'That's it. You're the winner.
Now what have you got to say?'
'Me? A winner! Wow!
You've really made my day.'

'Sorry,' they said. 'Trick question.
A ruse. A crafty test.
You would have kept on moaning
if you really were the best.'

I could have moaned. But didn't.
I suddenly didn't care.
It was Mum and Dad who went on and on
about it being unfair.

I don't want to moan for England.
At last my goal's worthwhile.
I'll strive to be the owner
of the nation's widest smile.


Copyright Bernard Young, from Wanted Alive by Bernard Young, Hands up Books, 2004
Illustration by Alice Beasley 2010