In the words of Blondie...

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of Potato
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much of mistrust, love's gone behind

Ok, so it doesn't make sense in context of this song but it was the best I could find. It's a shame "That's Life" with Esther Rantzen isn't still on the telly, I'm sure this heart shaped potato found in the tattie bag tonight would have got some air time, especially 2 days after Valentine's Day.