The Reason

The Last Two Days Have Been My Own Personal Apocalpse.

Wednesday I had a black day. I cried and screamed for four hours on the phone to my mother, it wasn't being random, she needed it. But it opened the proverbial floodgates. I haven't truly stopped, the water doesn't work in my eyes anymore but I'm crying.

I still functioned, all day. Us Mothers just know how to be happy robots when it's required. But in the middle of cooking dinner, I fell down and cried some more, and this precious piece of heart and soul came in and kissed my face and told me "It's okay mummy, it's only pasta." Sometimes I wonder if she'll always be the one to pull the mirror on my crazy, because perhaps history is repeating itself. I don't want to be her patient. So I'll keep myself in line and work on it when she's not looking, because she can't see me fail her.

I hope I can manage.