Stairwell 3

Finally, the blip I intended day before yesterday. A nice bit of sun helped when I was massively over rpocessing this shot of an NCP car park stairwell. I've sat on these stairs many a time, leathered waiting for my friends to leave the nearby Weatherspoons of their own accord as opposed to be turfed out by several meatheads.

I'm not a trouble maker or anything. I find violence abhorrent and needless. sadly my mouth is a bit keen on writing cheques that my heart and head have no intention of cashing. Bad mixture that.

So I've done another blog about being the mascot, its called 'Ringers, Stingers and Gingers' (it rhymes if you say the last word as a slur and not a colour). You can find it here if a daily dose of my whining just isn't enough.

So I've had a manic day and not much opportunity to even experience stuff to moan about.

I'll tell you about something: I'm pissed off with being on my own. I know I bleat about it, but I want my fairytale. I want the lovely wife, the child (who hopefully gets his mothers looks, his fathers thirst for knowledge and everything else from his Mum), I want the holidays abroad in the summer. I want the romantic proposal in Florence on the Ponte Vecchio at sunset. I want the walks on the beach hand in hand along the sand on a Sunday and those text messages on a bad day that make me smile. I want to walk into a shop and have something catch my eye that my girl would like, and be able to buy it for her. I want cuddles in the kitchen, snuggles on the sofa and bubbles in the bath (together). I want to share this collection of days I call 'a life' with someone, and give them a direction and a purpose. At the moment I float from day to day without any real sense of where the hell I'm going. Blip gives me some stability and a chance to just write, maybe people read maybe they don't. However I don't enjoy being me at the minute. People say that all sorts makes you happy, money,job, house, car blah, blah blah. None of that matters. I'm beginning to realise that all you need to make you happy is a mutual love. The rest will come naturally. I took seven years of my life with a girl named Kelly, one of the sweetest and kindest girls ever. It fell away in 2007 due to me becoming an enormous wanker, and in honesty I loved her but was never in love. Today on Facebook I see she has just bought a new house with Ben her new fella. I've felt awful since, not because its HER but because I recall when we bought - it wasn't as magical as it is for her and Ben. I've wasted 32 years of my life not looking for what I want, and now I don't even know where the hell to begin.

Wow. Good job I don't really know any of you isn't it, otherwise I'd nver be able to look you in the eye again.