99

99 Blips. Wow. I'm tempted to stop blipping now as an artistic statement. However seeing as I have nothing else to get up for at present, probably best not to. I'm not one for caring about repetition so here is our beautiful Cathedral, seen from the car park in front of the Tower Hotel, which we frequented at the weekend. I went up there with a view to blipping a nice daytime Cityscape from Carline Road, but the sun was so bright the whole city looked hazy. If in doubt, shoot the cathedral.

Beautiful though isn't it, I mean seriously. Finest piece of gothic architecture in the whole of Europe, according to Hitler. I understand Hitler was something of an art critic and specified that Lincoln Cathedral must not be bombed under any circumstances. Of course it could be because it is an excellent reference point for planes so maybe Hitler was a good tactician as well as an art expert.....

Mind you Hitler also refused to burn the Ponte Vecchio in Florence as the Nazi's withdrew from the city. Personally it has to be my favourite bridge in the world. Is having a favourite bridge a bit sad? Possibly. It's maybe worse that I manage to have talked about Hitler in a semi favourable light: to be honest I think he took things a little bit too far at times. I mean liking art is one thing, but not liking most of the worlds population for being a different religion? There's no escaping the fact he had his flaws. Plus his book Mein Kampf? No pictures, not even a Paul Kidby cartoon on the cover (Discworld fans will know what I mean. I heard that Hitler didn't even like Sam Vimes. How can you not like Sam Vimes?)

In the 1300's Lincoln Cathedral was the tallest structure in the world, before being beaten by St Olafs Church in Tallin sometime around 1550. It had previously beaten the Giza pyramids which were not only smaller than my cathedral but also much more boring. Yeah you heard me right - its my cathedral. I have the overall rights on it because I visit once a year, have blipped it about three times now and once got a knee trembler in the grounds with a girl called Frankie who was on bail for assualt.


I'm glad to end this week, shockingly it hasn't been a good one (as you know normally my life is all Jelly Tots and rainbows) as I feel I've been messed about a lot at work. My social life has been slowly dying since November which I've actively encouraged due to me knowing a lot of people who probably don't like me.

My mate and former business partner Jason is having me over to Loughborough tomorrow night so we can rip it up 90's style like 'wen we woz young'. Of course we'll be doing it VIP style in Rain nightclub owned by another of Jason business associates. Jason cracks me up: he has a beautiful girlfriend, good job but just won't admit he is gay. Last time I went there I managed to get into his Facebook and between me and his missus we messaged all his family and friends [i]coming out. He was gutted when the replies of 'finally' and 'we always thought something' started coming through. He is my oldest mate (not my oldest in years, that Fish who is 47 although I know people older than that) and we've been mates since we were 4. Can't wait.

Okay terrible story about J. We went to V99 and he was really anal (WARNING - if toilet humour offends you, probably best to look at my photo and not read the rest of this paragraph) about his toothbrush, cleaning his teeth three times a day. He also had a film camera (back then we didn't do digital) and he kept taking the odd photo of our mates wasted. I even had a bad incident with a beautiful blond girl from Zimbabwe and vomit..... another day maybe. Anyway Jason went off to a portaloo so a member of our group did a terrible thing. He whipped his trousers and jeans down, put Jasons toothbrush far enough into his body to devalue the claims of being a bum virgin and got another friend to take a picture on J's camera. Then we / they put everything back and told J nothing: until three weeks later when the pictures came back from the developers. Needless to say the sight of Jason looking at a fuzzy photo of a ginger arse apparently consuming his toothbrush was hilarious. He didn't think so.

So we are still mates after that.

Joke for the weekend: A bloke walks into a pub & see's a ugly girl at the bar. He walk's over to her & ask's "Have you got a pen?" "yes" she replies with a big smile. "well" he say's "you better jog on back to it before the farmer notices you're missing"!!

Tomorrow night I'll be the girl with a pen and every girl I approach will be the spiteful man. That's not saying I'm into dodgy role play or anything, just angling for some sympathy for the weekend.