Feeling down

"What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare."

A strange day. At work we had sprint review followed by research time (time dedicated for own time). Soon, the retrospective.

And boy was the retro something special. Something I wasn't prepared to. In the middle of the retro we made a full turn in the direction we were heading - a direction I would've not expected us to go within the near future. A direction that requires sh** loads of trust to start walking.

Boy am I lucky for being able to increase my trustworthiness this fast.

So, instead of 1h retro of a rather important topic, we spent discussing 1h45min on the most important topic there is in software industry.

I have to say that I felt overwhelmed after the retro. Happy and tired.

Then it struck me.

You know the feeling being young and doing something bad. Then you are waiting for the parents to arrive home and to have a talk. Do you remember the shame? The feeling of breaking the trust.

I could hear that sound of trust breaking today. And I felt it deep inside me.

I hate the feeling. And it all could've been avoided had I only stopped to think.

"A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare. "

poem excerpt from Leisure by William Henry Davies