Good Day, Sunshine

Compared to last week, the weather over the last forty-eight hours has been refreshingly bright. In fact, aside from the still-bare trees around the place, you could be forgiven for thinking it's already mid-March out there. Of course, the nights are still dismally dark and cold, but you can't have everything. Here are some more of the garages on Dallas Road basking in the unseasonable warmth.

Work wasn't much to write home about, although I did get to offer my humble opinions on how the college could pro-actively assist students in improving their employability. My suggestions perhaps weren't in line with the Establishment's current mode of thinking, but I reckon that these ideas can be implemented with the right person at the helm:

1) Install touch-screen machines in the college foyer that produce CVs, a little like ticket-machines in train stations. You select the appropriate options off the screen to describe your previous work experience (CASUAL/TEDIOUS/TRAUMATISING/ILLEGAL), your current level of academic qualification (ADVANCED BUT POINTLESS/NOT TOO SHABBY/FUCKING WOEFUL/X-FACTOR CONTESTANT), and whatever cliched personal flourish you wish to add (I'M DILIGENT AND HARD-WORKING/PUNCTUALITY IS MY WATCHWORD/I'M IMPERVIOUS TO ILLNESS/EMPLOY ME AND I'LL LET YOUR FAMILY LIVE). Tap in the old contact details, let the machine take an inevitably gruesome picture of you to slap on the top, and Bob's your uncle, you've got a lovely summary of your life to take straight into the Job Centre.

2) Give any graduates who are still unemployed after six months token jobs within the university itself. My suggestions include Official College Barbershop Quartet (in order to promote harmony), Official College Pointers (who stand in various places around campus and point at things in a meaningful way), and College Collages (who arrange themselves on the floor artistically at periodic intervals).

3) Failing all else, hire a witchdoctor to chant incantations that hastens the downfall of the government.

In addition, I've informed the university that I'm more than willing to join their board as Secretary Of Being A Smug, Self-Righteous Bastard. Now it's just a case of waiting to hear back from them as to whether the position's available; last time I heard, it was already occupied by the Vice-Chancellor. But fingers crossed.