Sunset

Was at a rockclimbing competition all day as a judge, so tired out, my voice hurts, but the kids all of them did great. It was fun to see some of them again, to watch them grow up and change as they have and can. so much fun.

Sometimes, I'm dark and twisty. Sometimes I've not cheerful and light. last night and today has been some of those things. I've been dark and twisty, going into the deep parts of my heart and facing decisions that I Don't always know what to do with. Decisions that could affect the whole of my life and sometimes I just don't know Sometimes I just want my comfortable non girly jeans and, stuff my hand in my pockets and just walk in the cold, a beanine on my head, hoodie on my body and just wanting to be alone. Went for a walk after the comp ( or rather a run) so I wouldn't miss the sunset. I wish I'd had time to process, time to pray, time to be alone. It just didn't work in so many ways. I haven't had alone time in awhile.

Had a romantic dinner with boyfriend last night and we had one of those dark and twisty talks. we talked about you, i'll omit part of the conversation as it should be something we talk about over Skype probably. I miss you tonight, you would have loved the comp today. Sorry I know my dark and twisty moments aren't always bright beeming streams of sunlight, but they are me. Take them or leave them.

Pain is a lover i am well acquainted with.
i'm used to touch of his lust, the touch of him.
Its normal, more normal that not.
Dark and twisty is what I do.
So I take my heart,
Dark
Twisty
scary
and i lay it on the line
saying here it is, here is all of me
Do with it what you will.

Copyright 2011