The Hangout

Soo in continuation of my unintentional series on places that influenced me asd a child, welcome to 'The Bench'.

This bench sits on the corner of Silver Street and the busy A158 (It links Sheffield and the Midlands to Skegness and is often busy with rusty cars over fifteen years old being driven by overweight tattooed men and their obese partners / kids / hangers on. We used to hang about here waiting for the phone box to ring (before mobile phones) and not causing a nuisance. We never drank here as we were all too well behaved. I remember once a lad was chatting in the phone box and another lad threw a small stone at it, and straight through the glass. My mate Craig (the ginger baby burner from yesterday) and I legged it incase we got the blame. We ran straight into PC Ray walking his dog. Never been so scared!!

The corner hasn't changed since 1994. Also not changed: one of my friends. It was here I used to knock about with Michelle who is coming with me on Saturday. Judging by the cleanliness of the area and the lack of names scratched on the bench I'd wager it doesn't get used too much more. The lack of shop caused issues and now there is a shelter in the Market Place. I never hung around there, it was the haunt of bigger boys!! I'll blip that one day.

I miss my home town even though I'm only eight miles away from it. One day I wanna move back there I think, it's where I feel I belong. I'm either doing that or going to America. I've heard the American girls love an Englishman.

My flaming bank sent me a statement saying I'd spent nearly £100 on January 5th, which I know I can't have done as I was in bed with flu. I rang them and their reply was 'it could have been up to five days before that'.... so why are you sending me something that is a guess? That's as much use to me as a nuns naughty bits. They then said Can we quote you for house insurance? So I surprised her and said yes (she sounded hot). After fifteen minutes of questioning she asked about past claims and my reply is Yeah I had £50,000 of work done in 2008 after a burst pipe: 'Kimberley put me on hold and then came back all apologetic but she couldn't help me.

Yeah thanks. The bill for fifteen minutes of my life will be heading your way shortly.