Tea Time....

Today I bought a tea kettle.

Tea has played a big role in my relationships with people.

My father and I have had a somewhat strained relationship during my childhood. With an ugly divorce and a whole lot of drama, we never really built a good father daughter relationship.

As I grew older, though, we tried harder to gain what we never had before. One thing that helped was tea.

My father created "tea time," a time of open sharing and active listening.

It helped us build stronger bonds, and has helped with my relationships with others as well.

Though it can be difficult to actively listen and not respond to a person immediately after they tell you something about you or your actions that bothers them, it is a great way to actually listen and feel the other persons emotions.

The main rules about tea time:

1) Never speak out of turn.

2) Try to limit your turn to only one or two concerns/issues.

3) Listen patiently as the other person responds to you.

and the most important rules:

4) Use "I" statements..."I feel hurt when you do this..." Not, "You do this and I don't like it"

5) Do not judge a person for their concerns. I have found that, even if I do not think it is relevant or important, if it is said by the other person, it IS relevant and important.

Tea time is very important to me, and I am glad I am able to share it with you.