Now You're Grown, So Grown, Now I must Say More Th

20 years ago, I was unwell. Very, very unwell and we didn't know what was wrong with me.

The unwell turned out to be Boy, and despite being the biggest surprise ever, it turned out to be one of the best things in the world to happen.

Another Best thing happened three years later. This is her.

I still remember laying in bed with beloved, both of us reeling at the shock of discovering that we were going to be parents. We were both so young (we thought), both so unready. What kind of parents would we be?

We decided that we wanted to love them, and be loved, we wanted them to be polite, kind and generous. We wanted them to try anything they like and be fearless. We wanted them to be good people.

We worked on the premise of showing them how we wanted them to be, how they should treat others, in the expectation of being treated the same way. Encouraging them, when we knew they were terrified, and hiding our own fear, in order to accommodate their bravery.

They made us more confident, and made me especially more brave. I would stand in front of demons to fight for my children.

They became the young adults we wanted them to be.

As I lay on the floor looking at Toolibelle tonight, I realise she isn't my baby any more.... She is probably more adult than I will ever be, but she will always be my friend and for that, I am glad.