feeling existential, experimental

Looking forward to getting paid to think about somebody else's ideas instead of constantly putting the pressure on myself to come up with something special. It's as if I can finally zero in on my own book ideas once a great deal of my time is focused elsewhere. That is, until I start to resent the idea of losing great blocks of that time. At least this job is freelance; maybe it will be less hellish because I know that it's temporary. The ironic part is that I am (really) a book designer in editors' clothing. Maybe I should offer my book pitch to the Blip community and let you choose my next project?