Bad Day

Whenever I ask Henry what sort of day he's had at school he goes to great lengths to explain all the misdeeds that have happened to him during the course of the day: how someone stood on his toe in assembly; how he scraped his knuckles on the wall in the playground at break;how someone knocked his drink over at lunchtime. This used to drive me NUTS. Don't be so negative all the time, I'd say...You're like a little rain cloud...Tell me something NICE that's happened for goodness sake. Those are just minor things. It can't ALL have been bad. Then he'd strop and I'd get cross and things would go downhill from there. As a mum I'd worry that he wasn't enjoying school but all his teachers said what a pleasant, helpful, funny little soul he is. So then I'd feel put out...if he could be nice for them why not for me? I'm his mother after all...HUMPH.

Then I had a bit of a revelation. I was sitting down after work with a cup of tea one day and moaning to Bob about this patient and that patient and about some bloomin' guy who hadn't got back to me about a practice meeting I was supposed to be setting up. I suddenly realised that actually, although I love my job, I do spend the best part of my life being nice to patients (sometimes difficult and stroppy patients) and being nice to other members of staff (who are NOT stroppy or difficult I hasten to add) but it's not their job to have to listen to me grumble, and sometimes I do need to vent a bit when I get home.

AHA! I thought...maybe Henry is doing the same. The emotional energy expended being 'good' and 'nice' at school must be at least as much as I expend being 'good' and 'nice' at work, and probably more because he's dealing with both his peers and adults and lots of different social and school rules. Maybe he needs someone to sound-off to when he comes home. So now I listen as he climbs on my lap and tells me that X pushed in while he was waiting to go on the climbing frame at lunch time and Mrs. Y told him to sit down and all he was doing was fetching his sweater and it was so not fair and he fell over at playtime and bashed his elbow. When he's finished I ask him if anything good happened today and he tells me about the fact he's been picked to play Jingle Bells as a solo violin in the school Christmas concert and he got a team point for being kind when someone was crying and everyone laughed when X sneezed and snot shot out all over the desk (yes gross but these details are important to a seven-year-old ;-)

And the transition period from school to home is much much calmer :-)))

And today was grey, gloomy and windy but H said I could take his portrait while we walked the dog before school.

Bad Day