Is it this way?

St. Andrew's Day means this caper starts tomorrow. And I thought we were getting one with chocolates, Gran.

Christmas mayhem was underway already up town today. Gridlock.

I was paying the balance on next year's Oz/Thailand trip so needed only a couple of minutes in Trailfinders on Castle Street. I had 40p in change on me. You need 45p on George Street for 15 minutes. Why an extra 5p on this street? Why not an extra 10p or not an extra 5p in the first place? Anyway - after a lot of fuckin about I put £1's worth in the parking dalek.

I'm done in no time so decide I'll get my money's worth and dodge about a shop or two. But which shop can I go to? Thomas Pink? - nah. Cruise? - nah. I'm at the wrong end of George Street for anything really, but wait, what's this, a music/book shop? I'll have a wee deek in here. I'm there a couple of minutes and I don't recognise any artist among the CDs. I look around - ah, a Johnny Cash book. That was it for that shelf. I look around and the shop is full of middle to old-aged ladies. One just spent £125! On what?!

Further investigation reveals that this is a Christian music/book shop. It's about to be the most wonderful time of the year for them then!


Speaking of books - I love the premise of this classic Appleyard piece - Pick just five books to explain Britain to an alien. Gotta love the inclusion of "Being Jordan" by Katie Price and the Ikea catalogue in the suggested titles.

Here's an extended list of 120 that were whittled down to the final selection.




It's Friday night and I've got the Mighty Boosh boys on Jonathan Ross clashing with Common and The Who on Jools Holland.

Jools wins that wrestle nae bother.