Can I hold that for your sir?

This reminded me of an incident a few years ago when i broke two toes.

I had been carrying a fridge and tripped over the cat, dropping the fridge and mangling two toes. The next evening i couldnt even get a shoe on so went to the Royal Liverpool Hospital which backs onto a red light area. You sometimes get the oldest profession having a rest in A&E and that night was no exception, including one notable exception with tattooed knees.

Anyway i went for a pee and was stood at the urinal when a female head appeared at gusset level and announced her rates. To my eternal pride I came over terribly english and uttered the immortal line "I am fine at the moment thank you".... at which point she thankfully shrugged and left....

Which left me wondering why these things always seem to happen to me?