The Meaning of Life.

The topics I have been asked to cover today are wide-ranging.......1) parallel universes; 2) what women want; 3) chiropody; and 4) where babies come from. (I was also asked to explain Multiverse Theory but that'll have to wait as I shall be speaking at a conference in Vienna next month on this very topic and don't want to spoil the surprise element......ahem.)

The answer to all of these profound questions is simple : Lovely Shoes.

The responses of male and female blippers on seeing this photo as a thumbnail would have been so very different. The male blipper would think "shoes...er...nope" whereas the female blipper would think "OOOOOH! Lovely Shoes!!". Therein lies the parallel universe....two trains of thought that shall never intersect.

S. will readily confess that she loves this pair of Lovely Shoes more than she does me. That's fine, it's what makes her happy, it's what she wants. Question 2 answered.

Lovely Shoes, however, come at a price. Invariably, they sit in their box at the back of a cupboard and are only ever worn at the occasional wedding because they are 'too uncomfortable for normal use'.....wearing them for one dance will lead to a weekly visit to the chiropodists for the next three months. Chiropodists, I'm sure, are consultants at the Lovely Shoe Makers.

Finally, if you buy a pair of Lovely Shoes for your wife/girlfriend as a surprise present you will very quickly discover the answer to Question 4.