Just another candle blip!

Today I went out shopping with my beloved son. We don't go to the shops too often as it's very tiring for him.

But there were some things he wanted to buy, so off we went. It took a while to actually get out, but we finally made it.

We managed to get all he wanted. But it's getting harder and harder to do this.

People stare. They probably don't mean to but they do. And I keep feeling like I have to justify the way he looks. I want to say ' He's got cancer. He's not a drug addict.' Because that's what I think they are saying to themselves.

Christian's very thin, and unlike a lot of cancer patient's he hasn't lost all his hair but it has thinned a lot. So although he looks sick, I don't think people realise he has cancer.

I feel like I have to protect him when he's out, so that no one says anything and no one touches him.

I feel so sad, my once proud, beautiful young son now shuffles around like an old man. The pain killers have dulled his brain, so I have to keep reminding him, to move on to the next thing, I try not to get frustrated. How people with mentally handicapped children cope I do not know, they deserve a medal.

Anyway, we got everything he wanted and we made it home unscathed. He's worn out from the effort, I'm worn out from the emotion.

Tomorrow back to the hospital for more treatment.