If You Tear Yourself In Two Again

25 years ago, was a real October morning.

There was a smell of Autumn, and I had a sore throat. I had been up at the College to put my case to them for opting for a subject no one else had taken, and was on my way home to wait for their decision.

I stopped at R S McColls and bought a ice lolly -I needed to chill my throat. On the way across the playing fields, I met Willie, who was a friend from the last flat, he gave me a run across the playing fields, and dropped me at the flat.

I probably slept a lot of the day, I tended to in those days, but then I got up and made a Sausage Casserole for me and my flatmate's dinner. Our other flat mate, who drove us insane, pleaded with us to watch Startrek, and to our shame, we made him beg. Then we let him watch it.

Then the College phoned to let me know that, they had decided against their better judgement to let me have a college course all of my own. I was Delighted.

I immediately picked up the phone to call home to let them know.

When my Nant answered the phone, I knew that something was wrong. She told me to stay where I was, my sister was coming. My mum came on the phone. My dad had a heart attack. I waited for the "he's in hospital", but it didn't come. It had been sudden and fatal.

I slid down the wall, and my friend took the phone. I walked into my room, and put on my tape, then switched it off again. I wanted to make sure there was no music to remind me. But I heard it, and every time I hear it I will always remember.

The thing is.

When I had left for college two weeks before; for the first time in forever, my dad worked a weekend shift. When I had got up to pack, and discovered he had left for work without saying goodbye, I wrote him a note, telling him that he must never, ever leave without saying goodbye. "What if something happens?".

When I had come home on a flying visit, only two days before - Dad woke me up at 7 before he left for work.

"I'm waking you up to say goodbye, just in case anything happens".

"That's good Dad, thank you, love you, bye bye".

Always hug the people you love. Always.