And the last thing I see is my heart....

Still beating. Err.......... not quite

Tonight this was me......... a Biology teacher.

Tonight was our Open Night, parents are invited to come and look around the school before deciding on where to send their offspring next year.

I was billed as "Our very own Sweeney Todd" and given two slots between "episodes" of Professor Brainstorm's Science is Fun Show. The "prof" was bought in (and cost a small fortune) and did some interesting things with liquid nitrogen but nothing I couldn't have done.

My slots, allocated by a non-scientist, were to dissect a kidney, a trachea, a lung and a heart, with commentary, in 15 minutes.

It was like being a Victorian era surgeon conducting an amputation, who needed to get it done in under 10 minutes so the patient didn't die of shock or blood loss, even though he was probably doomed from septicaemia.

So it was :

Kidney, quick explanation of the function, quick slice to open it up, point out the ureter and tissue types.

Trachea, cut it from lungs, slice it open, quick explanation of cartilage and swallowing and what can go wrong, demo tracheotomy.

Lungs, quick explanation of function and structure, bronchi, bronchioles and alveoli. Two quick slices to show internal structure. Flip them over and remove heart.

Heart, explanation of position in thoracic cavity, why a heart beat is on the left, double circulation, 4 chambers, chordate tendons, valves and septum, quick cut to show chambers and septum.

Answer questions,, poke fingers into chambers to show smallness, explain heart beat.

End demo, remove offal, wash board, disinfect instruments and get ready for next "show" in 15 minutes time.

I think it went well, no one fainted, no one threw up (although a few did look a bit green) still got all my fingers.

hebs came to take some shots but bailed when I got to the lungs.

Hope I don't get modded for being too gruesome.

Spoilt for titles tonight...Heartbeat, Total Eclipse of the Heart, Heart of Glass, It's a Heartache, Heartache Tonight, What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?, I left my heart........ooh I could go on for ages yet

See you all tomorrow!