Nature's Sculpture...not a stoat.

Went for a long walk today with Noah and the dog.

Walking Archie is always a trial by ordeal. He's fine...unless he spots something. 'Something' could be a rabbit, a squirrel, a blackbird...a sweet-wrapper, a blade of grass... As soon as he spots 'something' he goes into full-on chase mode. This is fine as generally he just bolts forward, throttles himself on his harness, semi-asphyxiates and returns to my side once he regains full consciousness. Caesar, the dog-whisperer, would probably not approve but it's a system which works for us.

Today however I had a new halti lead...it clips round my waist and was, I thought, ideal because I can take photos without letting go of the dog...I'd still have full control...oh yeah...right! I paused to take a photo...stooped to catch a lovely snap of some pretty mushrooms in fact when I realised I was face to face with a stoat! I was surprised and carefully and ever so slowly moved back and brought it into focus...forgetting that doofus dog was still attached to my waist. Archie suddenly spotted the stoat and lurched forward, nearly severing my spine in the process and I pitched forward, down a bank and landed on my nose and right cheek, howling in anger, pain and disappointment I screamed oaths and threats at the top of my voice.

I'd managed to save my camera (instinct is a wonderful thing) but my dignity was in tatters...Noah was laughing his head off at mummy swearing and ranting and of course from nowhere an elegant elderly couple had appeared at the top of the bank and were watching proceedings with interest.

I wrenched the dog (and half the undergrowth he was attached to) up the bank, babbled something incoherent to the appalled bystanders and headed back.

So today's blip is not a stoat. It's also not pretty mushrooms...I flattened them when I landed on them...it is in fact...well I don't know what it is but it looked wonderfully sculptural and will have to do.

I'm off to nurse my wounds and sell the dog!