Madeleine

My first back blip. Madeleine was born 9 weeks early and weighed 2lb 3oz.

My midwife came to visit me at home to check everything was in order for my requested home birth. This was an extra check I wouldn't have got if I had simply been opting for a hospital birth. The midwife checked my bump and measured it but seemed to be trying several times and moving the start of the tape as if she wanted to make me bigger. She said she wasn't too worried but I was measuring a bit small and since I wanted a home birth we needed to be sure everything was OK.

I was sent along to my local hospital for a scan and they told me my baby girl was too small. I was still unphased by this stage (and pleased to learn I was having a girl) and asked "oh right, do I need to eat more protein?" The doctor informed me that no, I actually needed to go into hospital to have my baby at 31 weeks! I was till quite calm and kept remembering my sister telling me that her bumps had measured small but her babies were still a good size.

At the maternity hospital I had a doppler scan to look at the blood flow of the placenta and it showed that it was not working correctly and my baby's little heart was having to do all the work of pumping the blood. I was fitted with a monitor and given the first of 2 steroid injections to get the baby's lungs ready for breathing. It makes the lungs produce surfactant so they can open up to let the air in. (that's what I remember but please correct me if I'm wrong). I only had time for one injection but it was enough because Madeleine was born able to breath by herself. She was born in an intact amniotic sac and was carried through to another room where it was opened and she was taken out. She was only 2lb 3oz and was so tiny.

This tiny little scrap was wheeled past me on the way to intensive care and my husband and I both said "Hello Madeleine". I was so excited to see her but after a caesarian you just have to lie there with your inflatable blue leg thingies on and wait...

... Frank came down with a very disappointingly blurry photo one of the nurses had taken via a polaroid camera. I was desperate to see her. Finally I got to see her and she was so beautiful, the most delicate, tiny, special creature I had ever seen. I fell in love straight away and the weeks that followed were full of expressing breast milk, kangaroo care, waiting for meconium, increasing milk feeds by 1ml at a time through a nasal gastro tube , blood transfusions, drips with pure fat, drips, caffeine injections, bradys, apnoea and most importantly putting weight on.

Maddy got to come home a week before her due date and was the most perfect baby.