Home before . . .
Mom always told us kids "Be home before the street lights come on."
So all of you are my witnesses. I'm home. I was even in the house when the sky started entertaining me. I ran down the stairs, told Mr. Fun "Come on! You've got to see this!" and out the front door we went. I stood on the front flower garden retaining wall to capture this. The fragrance of the gardenia plant right below me was intoxicating.
It's been a day of thinking about the family I grew-up with: mom, my older sister, and my younger brother. I've known for days that the 25th was coming and that it is my brother's birthday. I also know that my brother disconnected from the family years ago; pretty much right after mom died. My brother's wife just isn't interested in family--her family, his family, any family. They have no kids. I tried to keep contact for several years after Mom died, but eventually gave-up.
So this morning when I opened an email from my sister (the one who didn't communicate with us for about 30 years), and she wanted to let me know that it was our brother's birthday and that she had googled to find him and was going to try to phone him today. I read her message and was a little stunned, a little shocked. I think I still am hours later.
I have mentioned previously in my Blip journal that our family's photo is in the dictionary next to the term "dysfunctional family."
So I've spent the day thinking about my older sister and my younger brother and my mom. I won't bother my close Blip friends with the details. But I think my sister must have been stunned when she opened my email response to see that I had written a mile long message of my perspective of why "little" brother disconnected. I think I could have written all day. I might as well have for the little that I accomplished today.
Because I report to the campus tomorrow, first day back, I should have put the pedal to the metal and raced to the Finish Line of summer, but no, I stopped at every "rest stop" and "lookout point" I could find today. I accomplished enough, but could have, should have, done more.
But my mom, sister, brother seemed to show-up on the screen of my life all throughout the day.
So when I realized that I captured a photo right before the street light burned bright -- there were Mom's words echoing in my thoughts. I love my mom. I love my sister. I love my brother. I wish we knew how to "family."
All of you who have really terrific families, I envy you and I thrill at what you experience. I'm thankful that I have dear friends who fill in the gaps in my life. I am also thankful for Mr. Fun who adds spice and variety and surprise and comedy and meaning to my life and he understands how I feel about the "F" word -- F A M I L Y !!!
Good night from Southern California.
Rosie (& Mr. Fun), aka Carol
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