THE BIRTHDAY BOYS -- DOG AND MAN

This is Luigi, it's his birthday, by decree if not in fact, and he is sitting in the Kangoo, one of his favourite places. . It is also Himself's birthday.

Luigi was was found under a roadside bush at this time of year, it being dog-dumping time. The vet said he was about a year old, so Himself insisted they have joint birthdays. Fair enough. He is the only dog I know who has a fan club. The secretary of this club works at the local petrol station and she has his photographs plastered all over the wall. Take Luigi down certain streets and all you hear is, Eh! Luigi! Come stai? It is quite nauseating, really, almost as nauseating as the colour of the Kangoo.

The reason I did Luigi's picture in the Kangoo is this: I asked Himself if he would like a really nice camera for his birthday in the faint hope he might take up blipping. The answer was a very vigourous "no!" What did he want? He wanted a new Kangoo.

Ow! I walked right into that. A Kangoo is a sort of an ugly tin thing on four wheels. It's quite small. It isn't a van but the back seats do fold down so that you can get a lot of stuff into it. With Himself it is mostly the dogs and piles of rubbish on its way to the dumpster down the hill.

I come from a family of car mad men. Cars were kept in tip-top repair. They were spotless enough, inside and out, for white silk frocks to be safe in them. I thought this is how all men were so you can imagine my shock and surprise to find that Himself is quite the opposite. You wouldn't want to get into his Kangoo in your worst pair of jeans, especially once Luigi has dug holes into the seats.

The Kangoo is only five or six years old but two years ago the hand brake was left off and it rolled itself to the edge of a cliff and then tipped down it. It was repaired at vast expense but somehow, it has not been the same since.

I tried to get a stealth pic of Himself but he is very wary and crafty. I thought to do a self portrait, head in hands, but no. This is a happy day, the birthday boys are full of the joys. (Luigi does not look full of the joys here but then, a cat was walking in front of the car.) They can have a new Kangoo providing it is not some bilious colour like this one.

Happy Birthday, chaps.