BAD!

Please say hello to my colleague who has joined blip! - he told me I should add "brazen" to the list of B words for today.

Today's letter is B (see yesterday for context!).

Today, for all of the morning and part of the afternoon I was bedbound largely because I am a lazy so and so, but also because the last half term at work has been so hectic, I think my brain and my body both decided enough was enough. So I slept.

I also had backache which is a fairly normal occurance for me - it's time I went to see my osteopath again.

So today is probably a typical lazy day for me - Saturday is my sloth day. I took James into town - ugh ugh ugh - to buy a birthday present for his friend and on the way round the shopping centre we stopped off at our favourite ice cream place. We were horrified to see, whilst queuing, that there was none of our favourite ice cream (it's called Jelly Bear - it's pink, sugary and covered with sugary sprinkles), but fortunately, just as we were about to be served, the nice lady spotted it was empty and went to refill it. Yippee. So James had a tub with a butter fudge stick as an extra, and I had a 99 flake in mine.

I've been pondering on "B" words relating to me today, and have come up with plenty, but have been a little disturbed to find that some of them are actually relating to negative parts of my personality or behaviour. In fact, it was actually quite depressing to find how many words actually fitted me that were not positive in the slightest.

I'm therefore sub-dividing my list this evening. Positives, then negatives:

positives:
Blessed - by my lovely husband and son, my family and my friends
Balanced - at times! Having a home filled with love and laughter gives me the balance that I need, and which for so many years I missed.
Blipper - I think I am becoming defined by my hobby!
Brave - more brave than I was, although I am discovering that motherhood requires you to be brave and that it is often difficult. I am fearful of letting the reins loosen a little bit, but I'm going to have to!
Bright - in terms of intelligence. Not necessarily in terms of my mood!
Bubbly - at times.
Bendy - that's a talent that is appreciated by some ;-)
Baker - Hebs cakes are welcomed by colleagues and by her boys.
Also
Bonkers, batty, ballsy, barmy, a bit of a basketcase, buxom (how could I not mention it!), full of belly laughs, sometimes bold, sometimes with just the right amount of bravado.

However, on the negative side I can often be a bit belligerent, prone to bellowing at youngsters when they don't behave, often biased towards individuals. At times I can be brusque and maybe a little too brutal. I'm definitely bolshie, can be utterly bloody-minded. Sometimes I brood on things that I can have no effect on at all. I know I babble, I can be a bit bizarre, I often make boo-boos in social situations. I'm sure at time I am a bit of a burden, I know I can be a boring bugger too. Oh, and bossy.

Thats me. I'm horrible!

I know I'm not, I think the positives balance out the negatives, and I think I have a better grip on the negative sides of my personality or behaviour than I did a few years back. I think life, when it is settled and you have people around who care and support you, lets you iron out your little rough spots, if you choose to see that they are there and accept them. I accept mine.