Door VII

See previous.

I thought I'd share an idea with you...

My pal has decided that I should rewrite Jude the Obscure seeing as I found it quite a distressing read. It would be called Jude II; The Happy Version. (Spoiler alert to those who have not read Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy).

Here's a rough synopsis of the plot;

Jude Fawley does not get abandoned by his parents at an early age, in fact his family are well known for long lasting monogamous relationships. He is brought up in a nurturing household where he is given freedom to explore and is loved by both parents.

Jude's favourite teacher does not bugger off and leave him to educate himself. Instead he teaches Jude all he knows about Greek, Latin other relevant academic teachings of the time. Jude does stone masonry in his spare time.

Jude gets accepted to University on a Scholarship and becomes a very well respected theologian - whilst also continuing his stone masonry on the side.

Jude does not marry Arabella Donn and sees through her lies from day one. Having decided NOT to sleep with her, there is no way she can be pregnant. He tells her to bugger off and stick to her own kind. She becomes barmaid in a London Tavern and makes enough money to keep her 'comfortable' for the rest of her miserable life. Poop head.

Jude meets Susanna Bridehead while she is teacher training. Although the exceptionally old school master, Richard Phillotson, claims he is interested in her, she knows it's a stupid idea to pursue a relationship coz he is an old fart and he smells. Jude woos Susanna and they get married very quickly. Susanna is decisive, quick thinking and is NOT paranoid. She knows exactly what she want from life, and that is Jude.

Jude and Sue have two delightful children, one boy, one girl, who grow up in a nurturing and caring environment, loved and cared for by their Mum, Dad and grand parents. Seeing as there is no illegitimate child on the scene, the children do not end up dead, hanged from the back of coat hooks in a B&B.

Jude earns tons of money and Sue does a bit of knitting in her spare time when she is not looking after the kids. The kids get a well rounded education and they all go on really nice holidays to Italy where Jude helps in the restructuring work to straighten the tower of Pisa.

Jude and Sue pass away very late in life and their son, who by now is a world wide acclaimed stone mason, erects a statute to honour his father in their home town. Their daughter becomes the first woman to enter university and sets up a school for orphan children.

And they all live happily ever after.

(Even Arabella and Richard. This the HAPPY version.)

The End.