boilermaker

Either I have an obsession with appliances or everything I touch breaks down. This is my gas boiler which doesn't like to be told when to come on or switch off. He is a free spirit who makes his own decisions as to when the house needs heating up or when I should be allowed to use hot water. I have become violent in my responce and now stick a knife in one of his valves on a regular basis, and pump him full of water like Mussolini force feeding olive oil to an unwilling voter. So far he has come round to my way of thinking but the question is how long will I get away with this sort of abuse........