The (most) Elderly

Meet Edith, or 'Grandma Dith' as we like to call her.

As Paul's grandmother, I kind of inherited her when we tied the knot in 2008.

She's a strange old bird - very kind and caring but in a scary old grandmotherly kind of way. As nice as she can be, she hates most things.

She dislikes living together when unmarried, divorce, babies out of wedlock and her very best friend, Alice. Yes, she even hates her own dear friends

"Urghh, that Alice over the road has a stupid telly. A divvent like to watch it - it's too big"

"Urghh, that Alice over the road is a greedy bitch - she ate 3 quality street when Corra was on the telly"

etc etc...

Last night we went to retune her VERY old TV after it lost one of its FIVE channels. Imagine a TV with only 5 options? She has a freeview box but refuses to use it on principle. Anyway, as a thank-you we were given an open, un-refrigerated jar of mayonnaise.

Thanks Dith.

But look at her, standing there peering in. Apparently she dashed straight out to see me when she heard I was outside in the car. She may appear to some as a cretinous old crone, but I really like old Dith.

She knows what she likes, and hates those she doesn't. She tells it like it is and calls a spade a spade. You always know where are with Dith, and there is a lesson there to be learned by us all.

To Dith!