Anniversary Week Day 3

Yesterday I wrote that Mr. Fun asked me to marry him again at a wedding reception the summer before our 10th anniversary. Then he repeated the question again just a couple months before our 10th, and I said I was going to take him up on his request. His question and my answer started a whirlwind of activity.

A few days later we were at a party and told all our friends what we wanted to do -- to have a wedding for our 10th anniversary, since our original wedding had been a "shotgun" event and Mom wouldn't let me wear a white dress because I was "in trouble."

Everyone got so excited. All my girlfriends wanted me to try on their wedding dresses. So I did. What fun! and I found one dress that fit perfectly and was "the one"!

Then I started looking for the place to have a wedding. After looking at a half dozen places, I found the church in our community with the longest aisle. We didn't have a church home because when we got married, he was Catholic and I was Lutheran. So to the chagrin of our parents, we stopped attending church.

I ordered flowers, cake, and a photographer, and planned a reception after the ceremony in the church social hall. The pastor of the church asked to meet with us and honestly, I think he was as excited about our up-coming celebration as we were. He gave us some advice and helped us to get some perspective on what we were doing.

Several of our friends, the ones mentioned in yesterday's blip Michael & Terri, Paul & Marsha, and others. came home to our community to celebrate with us. My real dad came, and my sister came from Portland, Oregon. Our 10th anniversary was on a Thursday. So the celebration was on a Thursday evening. The day was filled with activity and a late afternoon rehearsal.

At the rehearsal the pastor actually had us say our vows -- my heart was pounding, my eyes were full, and my throat was a huge lump. In that instant I realized what I was saying "yes" to -- I didn't have stars in my eyes; I had history in my past. We'd been through hell on earth those first 10 years. I realized the agonzing effort, the hopeless moments, the grit, the grime, the crud we had endured. We had had two babies; lost Mr. Fun's very best friend to an automobile accident; watched his widow and 2-year-old son endure the loss; my mom and step-dad had moved away; we had no goals, no plan, and very little money. By our 7th anniversary, I was completely out of love with him but had no way out. I was in a cage with no doors.

At some point, I just quit hurting, maybe I gave-up. I decided to just exist one day at a time, just to step into tomorrow when it arrived and make it through that day. And I did. Somehow at moments I found some nerve endings and could actually laugh and the longer I stayed with him, the more I remembered how I had loved him when we got married . . . how desperately I wanted him to marry me when I thought he might not (that's another story). From a distance I would look at him and know that he was the one . . . the one I was supposed to spend my life with. I don't know how I knew that . . . except that I had grown-up with parents who had divorced, and divorced, and divorced. I had come from a fragmented family.

So the "summer of two weddings" kindled a miniature flame and a new fire of love began to burn. At our anniversary-wedding rehearsal on the afternoon of our 10th anniversary when the pastor led us in saying our marriage vows, for the first time in my life, I knew the commitment that I was promising to. My mind and my emotions were colliding. I wanted to say "yes" and I wanted to say "no."

Of course I said "yes!" That evening's wedding moment was a landmark experience in our lives. My sister was the maid of honor and 3 friends were bridesmaids. Four of Mr. Fun's friends were groomsmen. Our 9 year-old-son was the ring bearer. Our 6-year-old daughter was the flower girl. Today's photo is our daughter right before she walked down that long aisle. It is one of my favorite photos from that evening. Here she is currently.

My absolute favorite photo from that 10th anniversary evening has been previously blipped. It is a photo of my dad the way I always wanted him to be, proud of me. It was taken the moment he and I entered the church and began walking down the aisle so he could "give me away." He did not get to do that 10 years previous. Mom had not invited Dad to be at that first wedding (that's another story).

So this is anniversary week. The actual day will arrive Saturday. We celebrate the 29th every month. This month, this anniversary is a big one. We're going to do something special. Several weeks ago Mr. Fun asked me the question. Can you guess what question?

This weekend we're going to the coast. We're going to make an early evening stop at a special little place. The man in black has agreed to meet us there. We're hoping some passer-by will hold my little cheapie camera to capture the moment. We haven't told anyone about this, except you. So we're counting on you to keep the secret!

If we're truly fortunate, this will be a spine-tingling anniversary; actually I think it already is. Tomorrow, I'll fill in the blank on a little of what has happened on our anniversaries since that 10th year event. You can see and read about the celebration 5 years ago, by looking at a few blips from last May, starting here and strolling to the day after the 29th.

Thanks for all the tremendous comments yesterday. Thanks for celebrating with us, and I think you already know that I absolutely love weddings.

Good night from Southern California.
Rosie (& Mr. Fun), aka Carol

P.S. If you look carefully at today's photo you can see the outline of the bride just behind the flower girl.