There is no spoon.

Yes, there is. There quite clearly is.

For the purposes of future me looking back and cursing past me for writing a load of nonsense instead of what actually happened, here's what actually happened:

I got Lyndsey unsacked.

And, um, it was effing hot (41 degrees).

And, erm, I realised something is a little bit wrong with me. (I'll know what I mean.)

That's about all I remember. The disadvantages of not blipping on the day, and not bothering to write anything down.