Like tears in rain

I almost didn't bother to take a photo today, it would have been the first day in over five hundred that I hadn't. It wouldn't have been by mistake, I had my camera with me as always, nor for lack of subject matter both random and contextual to my day. It was a conscious decision, I just didn't want to, it didn't feel right.

The one photo I did take, at almost ten o'clock, was taken only so I could write these words and have them somewhere. In many ways today should be a hole in my blip whole, a reminder of the past week and of the hole that is in me.

Last Thursday, election day, I got a call from SJ saying that her brothers ex-girlfriend was in hospital. She'd been going through a very rough time and he'd been more than a gentleman, and had done more than most would to help. I'm sure he felt helpless, angry, and distraught at the news.

I didn't realise the seriousness as I kissed SJ goodbye, on her way to the hospital.

They switched the life support off on Tuesday. She was only twenty. A life cut short, a hole in so many lives.

Last night the phone rang. It was late but I didn't think it strange. It was my sister choking back tears as she told me my zia, my aunt, may not last the night.

I have spent the day in a limbo, wondering if that text, that email, that phone call is news. No news is good news I suppose. I could go on, but these words here will serve to remind me in years gone by what I have omitted.

To she that has gone, although I hardly knew you, I hope that you are in a better place and that all your dearest remember you fondly. To you my Zia, you will leave a hole in my heart that will not be easily filled. I am only glad that you came to the wedding - my lasting memories will be happy ones.