For my Mother.

Sleep has recently become a series of several two hours naps in the night. I fall asleep and glide into sudden dreams. The dreams come on, and I am in that space and glad, but just lucid enough to say "what the hell is going on here" to a character I recognize from a popular television show I watched on the computer before I closed my eyes. As soon, as I say that, the dream evaporates, and I wish I hadn't chased it away. I wake up, check the time and long for that place again.

I had several dream wake segments tonight. Each time I would wake, I would think to myself "remember that one, that was a good one." But I don't remember, and now I am awake and at the computer at 3:30. I have been up for a while before I decide to just write, my journal entries have been shorter in recent days.

It is colder than it should be in May. I don't mind at all. It will be hot as hell soon enough. It is 49 degrees as I write this, and it looks like rain is forecast. This is also fine with me. I like rain, actually... I love rain. Monday, I plan on getting into the studio early and really getting to work, I need to paint. I feel it in my bones. The white series calls- I am curious to see where it will go next. It is scary and exhilarating. I don't take my ability to paint for granted, and because of this, the whole process starts anew. I have been so busy with art business things lately, that just listening to music and working seems luxurious and I can't wait to be in that space again. I am ready.

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Today is Mother's day here, and I plan to go visit mine.

Mom- if you are reading this. I hope you know how much I love and admire you. I thank you for all your creativity and inspired way of seeing things and for passing it on to me. You were my first art teacher and I am lucky that you still really look at my art, and not just as my Mother but objectively and with excitement after all these years. I was not an easy teenager and I can be a worrisome adult, but I know you believe in me and my work and that means more to me than you know.

Thank you for all you have given me. Happy Mother's day!
Love,
Megan

My mother is from Alabama.

This is my mother, me and our dog Chaucer in January of 1978. I remember this day like it was yesterday. The photograph is placed on a piece of my art from 1998 in my book series. I was living in Oregon and missing my family in Arkansas.