terrible two

I think, at the ripe old age of 35, I have faced the fact that a bloody amazing weekend comes at a price. I am yet to establish the full cost of the weekend, but I can tell you right here, right now that I am not getting off scott free for being a bit of a dirty jakey scum-bag.

Today's pay off for scum-baggery was a day with a crazed monster of a child. God almighty. I suppose it's a little like the 'chicken and egg' conundrum - was Arlo a crazed heedtheba' due to my own knackered impatience brought on by party hedonism at the weekend, or was my shouty impatience brought on by his bad behaviour? I guess we'll never know*.

Anyway - it started at 6am when I dragged my eyelids through the house in response to him shouting 'curtains' and 'up' at the top of his lungs. I was hoping he'd be up for a bit of a 2nd snooze with me in the bed in his room but after half an hour of him trying to steam roller over me from other side of the bed and whispering loudly in my ear 'mummmmmmmy' I decided it wasn't happening.

From there we went through trying to beat Boris up with a very heavy plastic elephant, doing stunts on his trike and trying to throw it into the wall, opening my purse and throwing every single card around the living room, shouting 'wheeee', taking things out of the kitchen bin and hurtling round the house with them, throwing them everywhere and much, much more.

Tether and End of spring to mind.

Still, after a bit of a tantrum stampede at my (frankly ridiculously out of order) suggestion that he put some socks on so that his feet didn't get cold he banged into a wall, smacked his chin off his wooden duck and went a bit mental. Once he calmed down he asked if he could lie down in my bed and promptly conked out for 40 minutes. I climbed in beside him and read my book with my coffee and spent most of it wondering how the hell we got from
this to the picture above.

Lots more bad behaviour followed after he woke up but (now he's conked out in bed) I am seeing the funny side of the crazy twos.

The wine is helping...


*although I am sure if I was more patient, he'd be a bit nicer....no?